Their mean words and jealousy will never be able to afford my bills

Aya
Nov 16, 2025
4 min read

Great people will uplift you; others, with small, narrow-minded views and a lack of ideas, will try to bring you down.

They should have taught us that in school. And budgeting, oh how much I wish it were the case, instead of formulas that I have not once used in my life. Maybe that way I would have some financial literacy instead of justifying a lot of my spending with “ I’m just a girl” (thank the Universe for the Gen Z slang).

With all the seriousness, I was thinking the other day, how fascinating what my brain is capable of doing with wardrobe items.

You know how every criminal series has that quirky genius that literally has formulas running in their brains, one symbol comes between the other and boom, mystery solved?

I always thought, as a teen, how that must be incredibly cool to have such talents. All of that was coming across my mind, all while I was convinced I had zero powers of such or talents myself. Shame, I would never be able to have one of my own, I thought to myself.

I vividly remember that one time I was at some store, and how I could make outfits for my friends for any party or other occasion they had. I also vividly remember the pinch thought “if only I had money”. But instead, I started working when I was 14 years old, putting aside all the money I made to go to thrift stores and get myself some fun pieces, so then I would be pulling up to all the parties wearing the craziest outfit they’ve seen. That was some crazy good times.

My family wasn’t poor, but it was the 90s in Ukraine, and yes, there were a few times where my dad had to give up his business to racketeers to protect us, which meant, sometimes we would not have money for bread. Although somehow they managed, and I am grateful for them doing it in the best way they possibly could, while also starting from zero multiple times. But I digress.

Going back to that memory often in recent times, I want to scream to myself at 17: “Here! This is it! This is what you should do! This is YOUR TALENT” because back then stylist wasn’t really a profession itself. Not at the scale it is now. But at that time, I was also already in college studying education and how to become the one who educates, even though teaching children was never on my list, as I am not a big fan of those little ones. But little did I know, I would be educating people across different countries, nationalities, backgrounds, and sexualities on how to unlock the power of being not only stylish, but unapologetically themselves.

Hot Mama Bakery came to me while I was writing my final thesis in 2024, while preparing for graduation from ModeisMe. It was a very fresh idea, but essentially, I wanted to make the styling tools affordable. Perhaps I was trying to heal the traumas of a 17-year-old me. While having similar people in your surroundings. But more importantly, I wanted to help others. Just as I can’t go back in time and yell to myself that styling is a solution and a great career choice, I definitely can create a solution for others, an idea that would teach you to be stylish on a budget. For those who might not be 17, but find themselves in the same situation when it comes to clothes and putting those formulas together. Just like I healed my trauma through creating Hot Mama Bakery service, I can help to deal with yours, and yes, besides fashion education, I do have an education in psychology.

Because it is never too late. I am learning budgeting in my 30s. Because, regardless, there is an unstoppable force that lives in me that thrives on new information and a healthy obsession with bettering myself. If that sounds like you, I too invite you to join Hot Mama Bakery Styling Society to evolve your personal style. For £19.99, a weekly deep-dive into a different topic, handpicked selections, and a simply fun environment.

Someone told me last week that my styling is a nice hobby to have for a woman.

That someone is clearly blocked now, no matter how many times they claimed it is “not what they meant”; words were said, the “block“ button was pressed. Someone else also “complimented” me on how simple my styling looks, 4 out of 5, I believe, those were the words. Does it matter? Absolutely fucking now. Their mean words and jealousy will never be able to afford my bills.

What matters, though, is that you don’t pay those people any mind. There will always be someone who will mind your business more than their own, as Cardi said, “I’ve got comdos in that bitch head”. And honestly, facts (happy us millennials are the OGs of shade). But that is none of your business, and all you can do is to kill word cringe in you and wear whatever the fuck you want. And wear it proudly.