Dwelling beyond your set time is useless

Aya
Mar 23
3 min read

Enough of negative self-talk.

Someone clocked me yesterday. Naturally, I went into over-explaining myself that it wasn’t my intention and all that, but it didn’t really matter, because this is what the person saw. And there was no coming back. Good thing I don't believe in regrets.

Very ironic, gathering the facts that one of the things on my personality growth To Do list is actually how to complain less.

Precisely less and not completely erase it, because, on some occasions, I truly believe bitching is a very healthy outlet.

You gotta give yourself time to wable about the situation/person/day, whatever that it is that got you emotional, but then let it go.

Remember that phrase about 5 years and 5 minutes? Yeah, something along those lines. However, you are the boss of your time here. But be very strict. Crealy, something that is as dramatic as heartbreak (romantic or friendship) is impossible to get over in 5 minutes. Give yourself a week to feel your emotions however you feel suited, and then slowly drag yourself out of there. If we are talking about some rude interaction on the tube, come on, babe, 5 minutes is more than enough.

One thing to remember, okay, actually two things.

One. You are spending all that energy left and right; no wonder you don’t feel motivated, inspired, and eventually can’t build a consistent discipline towards building your dream life.

Two. The truth is, no one is coming to save you but yourself. Take it from the person who was lying in her parents’ house, many years ago, for 3 months, completely surrendered and swallowed by depression. The only person who was able to drag me out of that was me. My firm decision to snap the fuck out of it. Of course, it helps to have a support system in whatever form you require, but the decision is always yours.

The ultimate decision to do better.

Decision to pick better surroundings, to choose better friends, to leave behind people who are only good to use you, but never offer their help in return in any capacity, to clock in those who are trying to take advantage of you. The decision to learn how to do that make-up trick you wanted to try for the longest or post the silly video on your socials without the fear of being secretly judged by your friends or complete strangers. The decision to actually start picking a better outfit. For today. Everyday. That’s how habits are built. And then suddenly, your dreams are starting to chase you, and somehow, you are so busy that complaining just doesn’t have any time in your calendar.

That is exactly what I am trying to implement myself. Every time I am thinking of some situation in any way, complaining capacity, I cut myself off and go make myself busy with something better. Dwelling beyond your set time is useless.

And it doesn’t mean moving forward every day will be blissful; unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. At least at the very beginning. But then the habit follows, taking up more space than complaining ever could. You now look at the past and only learn, adjust the strategy.

Look at this, such a motivational little speaker. But with all honesty, it works. And once you feel good, dress well, the energy flows and negative people don’t even try to be around you because it shows them all their insecurities in the open, on Cristina Yang’s surgical table, now no one wants that.