I don’t believe in regrets

And you shouldn’t either.

I am determined to make it into a cult around the feeling, taking life out of you.

Cult jokes aside, though. Just stop for a second and think. Not about the regrets you have, but about how much time you potentially waste on the feeling. In my religion, it is one of the top three most wasteful things you can feel and drown yourself in.

And you might think, Aya, think about what would have happened if you invested in crypto or whatever.

Sure, but I didn’t, though. Can someone please explain to me how thinking “Shoulda, coulda” would take me back in time and give me the historical knowledge to change the past? As much as Back in the Future is one of the most iconic movies out there and definitely on the list of my favourites, regret does not appeal to me. Not in the slightest. And mind you, this is coming from a girlie who spends the majority of her time daydreaming (please do not confuse me making up unrealistic scenarios for my multiverse, and experiencing regret about what I was wearing at graduation in the 9th grade).

I ATE that fit the fuck down, okay. I was 15 years old or so. It was custom-made for me with one of the most expensive lace fabrics that my family could never afford at that time. Did I use that outfit ever again? Absolutely not. Listen, I had no business wearing what I was wearing at that age; it definitely made me look 23. Would I wear it now? Absolutely. One thing you could never take away from me is my confidence.

But now let’s pivot to my (aiming to be successful) attempt to convince you that regret is a useless feeling and you should let it go, just like Elsa told us all.

Let’s say you regret wearing that hideous outfit in the past (could be 9th grade, could be last week, doesn’t matter). And you feel regret in a form of shame, embarrassment, cringiness, whatever the fuck one feels when in the state of regret. But baby girl. I want you to always ask yourself, “Can I go back in time and change it?”

The answer is most likely a NO.

However, if you do know how to go back in time, don’t be a stranger, call me. We gotta talk.

But I digress. Instead of wobbling and having whole-blown regret about something you cannot change, there is only one logical solution (yes, your daydreaming girl loves things to be logical too) and it is to look the regret in the metaphorical eyes.

Can you change it? No. Can you do better in the future? Yes.

Quick steps attached to Claim to Fame:

Expose. Expose yourself to those regrets while sitting by yourself. Identify not only what the regrets are but what precisely you didn’t like about it, felt embarrassed, etc. Basically, let yourself experience it again, observe and take notes on what you like and not.

Adjust. Think about what you can do better moving forward. If we talk fashion and style, let’s say you were dying to try capri, but it was looking hideous on you for whatever reason (most likely because capri are pretty much hideous on their own). In my experience, some trends will look pretty good in your imagination, but not in real life.  Simply because not all trends are out there for you to actually accommodate for you personally.

For instance, I absolutely adore a mix of multiple bright colours and infinite style; however, it is not my aesthetic. Hence, I either only add something to my bag chain (like a Tamagotchi), or I do absolutely nothing but observe it on others, who do it way better than I ever could.

Overcome. Focus on things that you are changing towards, not the old ass loop that takes the energy from you, but don’t even bother to burn calories or something.

Great example, last week I had a meeting with a strategist on my Hot Mama Bakery membership project. Upon multiple adjustments, one thing had to be changed.

The name.

I had this name for the project for nearly a year and a half. It made sense to me at the time, and I was holding onto it. However, it barely made sense for potential baddies who would come across it.

Is it a bakery? Are you a mom too?

Most common questions I’d get. This is clearly far away from what the project is about. The change was inevitable, and I simply don’t think of myself not doing it sooner as something to regret. I did learn along the way tons of things, and if I am being completely honest, as much as I wanted to launch it and thought I was fucking ready – I wasn’t. I don’t particularly believe in destiny, although I do believe in the right doors (or whatever metaphor you want to use for this) opening when you are ready for a challenge or the next steps, chapter, or anything good there is for you. Was I actually ready to launch a styling subscription last February? Not really.

Am I ready now? Absolutely.

And if you don’t know how to get yourself back on track and live regret-free, at least when it comes to your personal style, book a free intro call with yours truly. And we can create a little strategy for you on how to move about your wardrobe moving forward.

Now onto the honourable mentions this week: Book of the week: Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself by Joe Despensa For an individual approach, jump on a call with me. You can book a free intro consultation with me here.

Statement Piece Style Guide is ready for you to download, and it is completely FREE.

To get started with personal style on a little more advanced level, I’ve prepared for you a little something: Ultimate Style Guide, worth £79, is now on flash sale for £2.99.

Never forget who the fuck you are, bestie x

Okay, that’s all.

Love you, bye xo

Your neurospicy fashion stylist,

Aya x