Remember you are always at your set point.

On this week’s episode, a mediocre man told me I am “crazy” and “touchy” because I obviously decided to stand my ground and not let anyone disrespect me.

He thought he’d get a reaction out of me or a lecture why he shouldn’t show two middle fingers in my face. Little did he know, firstly, I am no charity to give such lectures. If you don’t know how to treat a woman by now…I have only one question. How’s that front lobe development going? I assume poorly. And secondly, that I grew up listening to Eminem and now Kendrick Lamar, my attitude is same level as Rihanna’s, so by all means you do not wish to meet the mean me.

This whole micro situation got me reflecting on the whole journey of self worth for women in a world where horrible society concept of “always being nice” or “being bigger person” exists and every popularised. Don’t get me wrong, being kind to yourself and others is very curtail. Being nice when someone is trying to play you — ridiculous.

With all honesty — fuck that. If being a bigger person means letting people to toy you around — fuck that. If always being nice means pleasing people — fuck that very much as well. People always will have a perception of you in their mind based on their level of imagination, not yours. Meaning I would even cut my granny off if she won’t see it how I see it. And that aligns directly with my style and how granny (with love) would say I look this and that based on my outfit choices when I was a teen ( I was 15 — mind your business).

With all the constant bullying in school (by students AND teachers) I learned very early on that the only imagination about yourself you should stick to — your own. No one can tell you who you are better than you. Critical factor to consider though, is in what range of confidence and self-worth you currently are. Since women has been pressed for being themselves for centuries.

Personal style is a DIRECT representation of that. Look at the history.

Surely, setting the intention to go from your current style to way beyond style is easy. The hard part is to stick with it and truly embody that you are worth it, if not for the world around but for yourself/

I think in 2025 you should “pop your shit” and make it a glow up year. It’s revolutionary, promise you. 2024 was like that for me. Remember you are always at your set point. No matter what.

Here is one thing that you should definitely consider being a part of is Hot Mama Bakery club.

Consider it more of a stylish community with strong women who are ready to take control of their life and style and start 2025 strong.

I know, I know, we all make those resolutions that is so hard to stick to by the time it’s February, but hear me out. You were just missing a bestie that will hold your hand throughout the habit building time and guess what, I am that bestie.

I could go on about membership tiers in here, but you can already see those here.

What I want to bring up the most tho is that Hot Mama Bakery would be for you not only to find latest cool fashion or trend picks but to meet like-minded people worldwide, because let’s face it, the girlies make the world go round, so why not to be together in this thing called style development (and life).

Ending on extremely good series that I binged over my brain day-off — Beauty in Black. The slow burn, the secrets, etc. I love me a good gasp in the movie/series moment, and Tyler Perry was generous on those.

And of course can’t leave you without a weekly read — Giovanni’s Room: James Baldwin.

That’s all.

Okay, love you, bye xo

Your slightly nonchalant fashion stylist,

Aya x