Been practising my mugshot lately

People have been testing me for the past week. Is something in the air? Did they all get a free course on how to upgrade their audacity level?

It is also has been an anxious week. And exhausting week. Those were definitely statement pieces in my outfits. Do you feel the same?

The success is initially just a huge pile of failures. I am wondering how high my pile should be. I am not precisely talking here about the failed ideas or anything like that. All ideas could be great if sold properly and you just gotta try them all.

What I lean towards more is an overall struggle.

The Live and Loves of a She-Devil is now one of my favourite books by the way. The way the main character decided she was done with a struggle — is most likely my cup of tea.

Struggling to be on top of things with your own business, style, relationships (if any), and friendships (if lucky). The constant excitement of the unknown, the experimenting, and the creativity of something massive, something helpful, which our brain chemistry usually confuses with fear (because we’ve never done that before, hence unknown, hence seems like a danger to me). Where do you think procrastination is coming from?

Not from not wanting to do this or that. But from that inner fear/excitement of the unknown that was not done by you before. By the way, your brain indeed does not know the difference between the two. It is solely up to you how to select to take that in.

Here is yet another responsibility added to my list. But having that choice is nice.

Looking back, I am in awe and full amusement at how things tend to always work out.

And I mean ALWAYS.

All I’m saying, is I am just ready to appear in those famous interviews and talk about my struggles in the past tense only while undercover behind the scenes the story of my successful success.

Not going to lie to you, it will take time. It will break your previously known core and everything else you might think you knew. But you will get to that place you desire so much. Any failed opportunity, experience, or relationship will always lead you to something better. Losing a job might be scary but also a blessing. It is coming from a person who’s been in a situation where I didn’t know if I would eat tomorrow or would have a place to stay. All of that is in foreign countries with my family being on a different continent. It will all come together, you just gotta imagine a bigger picture, because believe you me, at that moment you would not see shit.

By the way, your dream destination would/might change too.

I used to dream and set up goals to work at Google and TikTok. And even though I’ve been through the interviewing processes that lasted weeks — I didn’t get the job. Was devastated but it all passed. I tried my hardest to imagine what this could lead me. Now I have new dreams and new goals. Courtesy to my parents to teach me that there is always something better on a horizont. Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Dad.

Just like your personal style. I keep telling my clients that it is important to have a few different styles based on your inner character and current lifestyle. And it can change. Yet it is not the end of the world. It would be odd if we all would look and dress the same. Have the same dreams and those would not change ever.

Sounds to me like some kind of utopia book I don’t want to read.

The one thing that should never change throughout your lifetime in your current body is respect for yourself.

Respect from yourself and from others.

I rarely pay attention to anything disrespectful my way (unless it is something constant throughout a week like this time around), years of education, therapy, and simple common sense, I know that whatever is like projected vom!t is coming my way it is not about me. It is about what’s inside that person.

Not paying attention does not mean you don’t have to stand up for yourself. It means you don’t have to simply pay it no mind. It won’t pay your bills, right?

Don’t let anyone dim your light. People will try to do that to you. Small people, I call them. The first things they would point out when trying to do so — are your style and physical appearance. It is simple and straight to their rotten point.

But baby, you should know better by now how amazing you are, no matter your size, wallet, etc.

With this all I have been leading you to one big fashion tip.

Stay true to yourself. Carve respect towards yourself like your life depends on it. Trust me, it does. Express that respect through confidence. Confidence comes with how you feel on the inside and express it to the outside world. You don’t need to have style to succeed in life but that will definitely help you reach the point. Steve Jobs’s simple jeans and turtle neck were a style.

Now unwind and go watch In Vogue. The 90s. So-so-so gooood.

That’s all.

Okay, love you, bye xo

Your slightly nonchalant fashion stylist,

Aya x