Set the fucking standards and be the first one to follow them

One day or day one? The hardest truth no one teaches you in life (in case you didn't already learnt it on your own) is that most of the time, the only person standing between your current life and you living your dream life is yourself.

Some Sunday bitterness, you might think. The truth is, though, well, this is the truth. You might just be your own biggest hater. And this sounds so dumb, don't you agree?

With all the doomscrolling out there I've recently completed, we are all ready to crawl under the table and eat those damn grapes (not once they worked for me, oh well), creating vision boards with pre-programmed thoughts of how unrealistic it all looks like, but hey, it's a fun activity, isn't it? And ultimetly either try to be new you soon (emphasis on "sson") or give up on the idea entierly beacuse, essentially, change does seem like a lot of hard work, now who wants that if it is so nurturing to stay cosy at your own pity party and blame everyone around that this and that never seem to be working out for you anyways.

So all of those so-called dreams and new realities seem to be so far away. So we do what we do best, we keep spending our time getting by with things as they are instead of taking an actual fucking action. And even if you were serious and did put together that beautiful vision board with all your dream trips, houses, bags, it all still seems so far out of reach that we just keep staring at the frame of our literal dreams and blame life instead of blaming one person who is solely responsible for this shit show. Ourselves.

Ouch, I know. I am in this with you, right beside you. I am too guilty of holding myself back when I could have completed 3 tasks instead of barely focusing on one. The fuck with that, I didn’t even want to write this newsletter, because in my head and statistically only a few of you are reading it (and I am grateful for you, btw), but as much as I am doing it to build credibility, I also do it for myself. I write because I grew up watching Carrie Bradshaw doing it in New York, so now that I am grown, I can write about my life in London, the city of my childhood dreams. Tho I am yet to achieve the shoe collection. Because writing is healing in the way, and because even if one other person will read it and get any type of emotions from this gibberish, I am happy, truly.

My side of TikTok is now also focused on not just how it would be cool to put together a vision board, but also how to build an action plan to achieve it. A delicious bonus is also on how to rewire your brain to build better habits. You know, those habits that our dream self has. And as an award-winning Fashion Stylist with a small closet, I will let you in on a secret.

You don’t have to buy an entire new stock of clothes to start working on your dream self. You don’t even need a huge budget. All you need is a little help and a supportive community. Hot Mama Bakery is exactly that. And there is also a 1:1 free call that you can get with me personally, to get you to the starting point that you’ve been missing all this time due to the overwhelming amount of information out there.

The dream life is ultimately one decision away.

You make one decision continuously until it is built into a habit, and then you are getting to another. You have the power to create new cycles that will benefit you. Give you the opportunities you’ve been longing for. And the only person who is holding you back is you.

Comfort zone was actually never even comfortable to begin with.

That job you hate, that body you wish was slimmer, that outfit you wish was put together better so that you get to feel like the baddest biatch out there. Those are in your current comfort zone. Now tell me, what part of any of that is comforting to you?

My point exactly.

Comfort zone, in my opinion, is just better marketing for “toxic cycle”, “pity party”, “victim syndrome” that we all time to time give into and first it seems like we thrive, but in reality, it’s all a big ass scam. No wonder so many of us are desperately trying to leave that “comfort zone”.

So, how about you start taking accountability for your own actions? Create that delusional vision board. Delusional for your “comfort zone”.

But instead of just staring at it, break it into smaller goals, followed by monthly, weekly, even daily, little actions that in the long run will get you to places you never could have imagined you’d reach.

And before you do that, write down (with the pen in your hand on a piece of paper) what you have achieved this year. Write down ALL that matters to you.

It’s the holiday season, please do find time to accommodate your own thoughts and feelings first.

Honestly, it’s all about showing up for yourself and making better choices for yourself.

Set the fucking standards and be the first one to follow them. This message is both for you and me. I am in it with you. I am a strong believer as long as you do the fucking job, it is hard not to achieve anything.

Oh, and before I forget: Book of the week: The Confidence Code by Claire Shipman

Reminder to support small businesses during the holiday period.

Statement Piece Style Guide is ready for you to download, and it is completely FREE.

To get started with personal style on a little more advanced level, I’ve prepared for you a little something: Ultimate Style Guide, worth £79, is now on flash sale for £2.99.

Hope that helps!

Okay, that’s all.

Love you, bye xo

Your neurospicy fashion stylist,

Aya x