Ruffles but make it mysterious

Aya
Dec 28, 2025
6 min read

Do you even know what day it is anymore? Well, in case of an emergency, it is Sunday, and this is the last post of the year. What a journey, even though personally my first 7,5 months of the year felt like I was up during the surgery. Nonetheless, I did shed all the old skin I needed in order to reveal my new true self, that, if I am being honest, somehow had lost for the past 14 years of my life, based on literally every single astrology expert on TikTok, and my personal astrology guide, but she filled me in sometime end of August on what’s up.

But I been thinking about this number recently, 14 years I have technically been “not myself”, 14 years ago, I was only 20 years old, basically a teen who had her heart broken by a man (surpise surprise) and I didn’t really know what to do with myself, while he was 3 years older than me started dating another woman right away. I carried that story with me for a long time (14 years, if you guessed it by now), but I don’t think I will even express my gratitude to the Universe enough. Gratitude for us to break up and me going on to live the life I always dreamt about. Now, it feels like I have successfully lived 4 or 5 different lives since that broken heart. It feels surreal sometimes to me, but what a journey.

Not going to lie to you, my multiple and very different traumas were playing a joke on me all this time, and I was having that perfectionism that we all by now hopefully know doesn’t exist anymore, playing a broken record of the need to reinvent myself every 365 days. Now I sit here with my little laptop writing this newsletter, thinking I have finally arrived. This will be the first New Year where I won’t be starting over, because I am finally on the right path. On my path. And this is major.

2025 wasn’t easy, but if you feel like it took you through trenches and back, write down your accomplishments. Bid and small. All you can think of, if you struggle, go through your camera roll. I did it for the internet to see, you can do the same, or do it in private. You can do whatever, but fucking do it. It will not only bring amazing memories, but also will literally demonstrate how far you’ve come.

Here was my example.

2025 recap. New year motivation and vision — Watch me

I also noticed that not only is my skin glowing I stopped editing my photos. Just adding extra exposure, but nothing else. Something that I am very proud of, but did not mention on the video, because it just struck me.

But I digress, as per usual.

Once you have written down all of your accomplishments and give yourself a solid pat on the back/shoulder. There is no other time like the present to lock the fuck in for the next year. Officially, in my belief (as I am a sensitive biatch and follow the moon and other planets like a witch that was burned 400 years ago), the actual year starts when the Chinese calendar says so, aka February 17th, 2026, this time around. Till then, I really want you to think through how you want your year to look like. It is also great breathing room, as society does put pressure “to start fresh” on January 1st, but every year you wake up in trenches, and it all feels impossible. Which is, if I am being honest with you.

You can’t change your life in a day/week/month. If you have ever planned your year, you know by now the secrets. If you haven’t – listen to the fuck up. Why are you living under a rock?

First, you will sit down and CATEGORISE your life. Where do you want to flourish, where to expand, where to keep up with already achieved. Break down your life into categories. Career, Finances, Travel & Experiences, Community & Friendships, Romantic Relationships, Health/Self Care, Writing, Education, Fun, New Business, Extra. Those are just a few to pick from. All of those were on my Bingo 2025. Then, in each category, create 3-4 goals (any size will do). Once you establish those, I break them down into smaller goals that will essentially get me to the big goal. This is where everyone on TikTok finishes their videos. But we don’t stop there!!!

As a reformed control freak (questionable at reformed), I like to take it further.

I plan my year, vaguely obviously, but heavy on the first 3 months in a form of a ToDo list (you know I love me a structure). I write down all the little things I need to do to accomplish small sub-goals that will lead me to the big goal coming to life.

I will provide you with a few examples that I will be doing personally. You are free to grab this cheat sheet for yourself.

Big goal: Reach 250 subscribers in the first 6 months of 2026.

Sub goal: Re-launch Hot Mama Bakery by the end of February.

ToDo:

Start an online marketing course to help me build a strategy for the relaunch.
Build a marketing structure to re-launch and improve the brand strategy
Deploy it with the marketing team
Review the results

Big Goal: Drop an extra 10kg of weight by my birthday (in 3 months)

Sub goal: No extreme measures, a healthy and pleasant way. Rewire my brain instead of pushing my limits.

ToDo:

Go back to running
Walk 3-5 km daily, but accommodate accordingly into the upcoming busy schedule
Find a nutrigiologist/nutrigiology program to support and build new habits around food. My biggest issue is eating smaller portions (generational trauma of being hungry)
Find ways to fulfil my sweet tooth (mostly chocolate) cravings in a healthy way.

Big Goal: Add modern gothic style to personal aesthetics using wardrobe.

Sug goal: Because I feel like I want to look more romantic but without loosing my dramatic and edgy side. Ruffles but make it mysterious.

ToDo:

Read, watch, and study the aesthetic
Find pieces that spark my soul
Create a folder on Pinterest and add to it art and aesthetics to inspire ideas for the outfits
Audit current wardrobe and see what pieces can already accommodate the desired aesthetic.
Make a list of accessories and additional pieces that will serve the purpose and will be easily integrated with other current aesthetics.

That is just an example of a few things I want to add to my life. There are also long-term studies, and the plan is to rewire my brain to be able to lock the fuck in effortlessly. And in addition, work that never stops, is being a fashion/styling nerd that is always growing and expanding her knowledge.

Truth be told, I was never great at studies and barely finished uni. I never craved to have an honourable degree or anything, but if I like a subject with my soul, there is no stopping me from doing all the possible research on it and studying it in all the ways possible. Perks of having obsessive toxic traits. You just have to spin them right.

I really hope that helped. If you need an accountability bestie. I am right here.

You can send me dm any time.

But before I finish this gibberish, I do also encourage you to find a true bestie who is on the same journey as you are. Hell, I am thinking of recording a video to legit frin friends who have now decided to pursue social media as a job, because it is hard to make a change if no one but you is in your corner (though it is possible if you want it bad enough).

What I am trying to say is that if you have that bestie, do monthly meetings to re-evaluate and track the progress. Planning and dreaming big is fun nd all, but it will never come through if you don’t make small steps toward those dreams of yours.

Evaluating helps not only identify where the gaps are and what the next steps are, but also will show you what you might need to let go of in the middle of the process if it no longer works or is not aligned with the big vision.

In addition, this is the list of books I am aiming to read/listen to in the first quarter of 2026, in no particular order. Choose one that you feel you need the most. I need them all, so here they are: