Planning my next outfit like I am planning the Louvre heist

And what do we do when the hope for romantic love leaves us?

Correct! We throw ourselves into work.

As you can tell, my week was supposed to be a very cute one and include a mini vacation, but instead I had a mini crisis. Though it was not all dramatic, full of tears, and internal screaming. It was a very quiet death of hope.

My good friend keeps asking me not to say that, but that is true. That hope has left me. And being a proud lover girl, I need to give my love to someone, or I would explode. So where do I give it? My business.

That's it, this is my manifesto on why I decided to leave my nearly life-long wish for romantic love and redirect the love that I have towards my creativity, building my business, and enjoying my friendships, rather than question myself. Because I am a 10, and I would not let anyone's son make me feel like a 0.

Love will come to you when you least expect it.

But like when? I kept asking myself, the Universe, and others. Till I stopped. On a random Wednesday. It was the day my hope died.

Not quite sure what to do with it just yet, though.

After the week I had, the journey back to my beautiful London, and 9,5 hours at the borders, no wonder I feel empty like that. But also grounded. I kept wondering, is that the ego death results? Is that actual internal peace, or have I reached another level of being dead inside? Regardless, I decided to pour all I have, and now even more, into my business. One thing that is actually loving me back, and that love is growing on both sides.

Pouring it while playing Barbie dress up at the fashion award shows and magazine editorial shoots, pouring it with my personal clients to make them feel much more confident when they step outside, pouring it to my Hot Mamas and teaching them that they can do anything they want with the clothes and budget they currently have. Pouring it to everyone around me, proving that the clothes we choose every day can play a crucial part in how we live this life.

And I am pouring back to myself, while staring at my wardrobe (oh how much I missed my clothes during these long 5 weeks away) and planning my next outfit like I am planning my very own Louvre heist. I mean, hello, how iconic!

I am back home, I am feeling safe, secure, and at peace in my own comfort of being alone. Light a candle, journal, plan my week, and cook comfort food for myself is essentially what love I crave, and if no one is giving it to me, I might as well do it myself.

There is nothing wrong with it. I believe that being in comfort with yourself, alone, with your wins and losses, sitting there in silence and in tune with your emotions (good or bad) is a crucial part of being at peace. Putting on clothes and showing up for yourself every damn day is true love. So if you ever find yourself in a similar situation as I did this week, just know you are not alone in this. And I can easily help you revamp your style and your literal identity (in case you want a new one). I've done it so many times that I think it was the only thing that kept me from falling apart and giving up.

Hot Mama Bakery is another beautiful alternative to join a wonderful community of women who are thriving on bettering their personal style, and while doing so, undercover what was hidden much deeper than anticipated - self-discovery and inner spark to shine in the world.

Okay, that’s all.

Love you, bye xo

Your neurospicy fashion stylist,

Aya x